Plant Study Field Notes
Plant is an unknown flowering monocot with single stem. Leaves presenting asymmetrical, some browning towards the edges. Plant is short. Squat even. No other plants growing in direct vicinity. Plant appears indifferent. Possibly judgemental, apparent narcissist. Blossom shows yellow petals surrounding dark brown stamen. Plant looks like it pretends to be vegan at parties in order to garner attention. Only drinks black coffee and lectures strangers on Fair Trade. Cup-like leaves. Plant seems like the type to put ice and soda in expensive whiskeys and claim Post Malone is alternative. 12 leaves. Tragically addicted to the approval of others, most likely stemming from a complex relationship with his uncle (the only father figure in his life). He never got to say good bye really, and that’s why he never let’s anyone get too close. He keeps potential friends and lovers out of arm reach out of self preservation really. All he truly wants is to find someone to love him for what he is and not in spite of all the things he is not. Covered in small prickles. 3 cm diameter sapel. Contemplating buying leather pants…listens to ABA when he’s alone.