Shouting into the Void

I’m covered in make-up and it’s not because I’m going out. My day started with my daughter ardently demanding a gingerbread man, the lack of said spice boy brought her to tears. Then my husband left, not an “I’m sleeping with the arborist” kind of leaving, but the, ” I’ll be back in 7 hours to act like the fun parent” kind of leaving.

Being a parent is exhausting. Being a teacher is exhausting. Attempting to pursue writing is exhausting. It feels like, in all three things, I was screaming into a deep void today. The answer which echoed out of that chasm was, “No one cares”.

Many people do this. Every day. And we continue on. When my daughter refused to get in her car seat, when no one liked my post, when parents complained about their kid’s grades, I continued on. Because the truth is, I’m lucky, I’m lucky to have a car, I’m lucky to have a job, and I’m lucky to have time to post things no one reads.

By the end of the day I was flattened. I had said, “No thank you” 6 million times, I had done everything short of a cabaret to appease my child. I sat down on the couch and stared blankly as my two-year-old dumped the contents of my purse. She proceeded to rub her body with lipstick and eyeliner. Then she came to me. I picked up a good book and let her decorate me.

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